Football Tactics For Beginners:How To Watch Football-Part 3

Read the first and the second part here and here   Attacking phase I talk about the exploitation of space purposely here as I'm about to talk about...
Joseph Hobbs
English graduate, amateur writer and photographer who eats football before breakfast. Previously lived in London and Daegu, South Korea, currently in Amsterdam.

Latest Posts

Man City 3:0 Arsenal Tactical Analysis- The Master vs The Apprentice

When Mikel Arteta was an assistant of Pep Guardiola at Manchester City, they not only dominated England but were one of the best teams...

How will Pjanic fit in at Barcelona? A look at Barcelona’s 4-3-3 formation for next season

As the deal between Barcelona and Juventus regarding the transfers of Arthur Melo and Miralem Pjanic has almost been finalised, let's take a look...

A look at Nigel Pearson’s tactics at Watford

4/12/2019, Leicester City Stadium. Watford suffers yet another defeat, and the ominous bells of relegation are echoing louder at Vicarage Road. The board had...

Great Squads From History – Bayer Leverkusen 2001-2002

The 2001-02 great Bayer Leverkusen side is infamous for their incredible choke job in the last stretch of the season, losing out on three...

How will Arthur fit in Juventus’s midfield: Sarri’s thrilling 4-3-1-2 formation

Sky Sports News has confirmed that Juventus and Barcelona have agreed upon a £72.5m fee for the signing of midfielder Arthur. The Brazilian midfielder...

The Man of Ten Thousand Voices

A young man graciously welcomes me into a room radiated with TV screens, computers, control panels, and flashing LEDs.  A small group of men...

A Tactical Look at how Marseille qualified for the Champions League

After a 7 year exile from Europe’s elite competition, the club from the south of France has finally restored their Champions League status by...

Football Books

Best Football Analytics Books

We have compiled a list of the best football analytics books for the casual football fan. Football analytics and data science/machine learning in general...

The Best Football Books of 2019

It's been another eventful year in the world of football. As we look forward to 2020, we have compiled a list of the best...

The Best Football Books of 2018

It's been another eventful year in the world of football. As we look forward to 2019, we have compiled a list of the best...

5 Books every Soccer fan needs to read before the FIFA World Cup 2018

The FIFA World Cup is just around the corner and it's the perfect time to brush up your history and facts about the World...

Best Soccer Coaching Books

We have compiled a list of the best soccer coaching books which every soccer coach must have in his/her bookshelf. No matter whether you...

The erratic locomotive prediction machine agitates once more into action

English football descended into pandemonium this week as fans and pundits alike have been unashamedly changing their Premier League predictions after just two games. Not since the Kaiser Chiefs predicted a riot but instead brought five albums of toilsome, handjive-cum-bodypop shuffle-pop has there been such collective nationwide indifference.

Last season, Paddy Power settled all bets on Chelsea to win the league in November, but whispers that multiple bookies are preparing to do the same for Manchester City after 2 comprehensive wins and 6 goals from their first 2 games are still unfounded. There were not many preseason bets for City to become champions anyway, but according to one anonymous source, a Mr David M from San Sebastian could be set to win big after placing a considerable stake supporting Manchester United’s “noisy neighbors”.

The consensual reason for City’s explosive start to the season is that nobody was talking about them before the season started. “Nobody was talking about us before the season started!” said one City fan after their 3-0 thrashing of Chelsea. “Before the season started, no-one was talking about us!” another agreed. Silence speaks volumes, and the
premier league is undeniably a haven for shy young men to quietly ply their trade. Maybe it is time for everybody to stop endlessly banging on about Sunderland, Aston Villa and Norwich to finally give them a fair chance in the league of hush.

Perhaps then it was the relentless discussion of Chelsea – during a spectacularly exciting preseason in which they signed Asmir Begovic,  altered their training ground drills, and had a 1-1 draw with PSG –which has led to their demise. Seven out of eleven of the Guardian’s football journalists predicted that Chelsea would be champions, and
though not mathematically impossible for The Blues to retain their title, City are 5 points clear with just 35 games to go. Last season Jose Mourinho criticized Chelsea fans for the lack of noise at
Stamford Bridge, but a bit of City’s motivational preseason silence wouldn’t go amiss right now.

It is worth mentioning that not all preseason predictions have turned out wrong. As many foresaw, Harry Kane has been a victim of second season syndrome, with a pitiful 0 goals from 3 games. Louis van Gaal
and Manchester United are still making fans hate their favourite sport by playing a kind of pseudo-football, where 11 men who look like professional athletes hypnotize their adversaries into losing by playing such boring football that their opponents eventually lose all concentration and get distracted by their own internal dialogues.
Predictions that “this could be Arsenal’s year” were extinguished 90 minutes into their campaign, but, as everyone who said it was secretly, knowingly lampooning themselves – a giddy, much-loved annual tradition – those predictions don’t count.

Contrary to popular activity, some observers are urging patience. After Manchester United’s laborious 1-0 win against Aston Villa, one fan outside Villa Park was quoted as saying “It wasn’t great, but you
can’t judge a season after just two games. It’s a 38 game season and there are 108 points to play for. Things change quickly in football. Let’s not get too carried away just yet.” However, his words were quickly suffocated by a claret-gilded wave of “boring, boring Man United”.

- Advertisement -
Joseph Hobbs
English graduate, amateur writer and photographer who eats football before breakfast. Previously lived in London and Daegu, South Korea, currently in Amsterdam.

Related

The Man of Ten Thousand Voices

A young man graciously welcomes me into a room radiated with TV screens, computers, control panels, and flashing LEDs.  A small group of men...

Wind changes direction in North London- Arsenal star Jack Wilshere injured [Satire]

In an unfortunate incident , wind in North London suddenly changed it's direction because of which Jack Wilshere injured his right knee as he...

Dr. Carneiro or: How I should learn not to stop the game and love the boss

Hundreds of journalists this week have condemned Jose Mourinho for his treatment of Eva Carneiro and Jon Fearn after they wrongly ran onto the...

Why England can win the FIFA World Cup 2018

England has made impressive progress after the first round exit at the World Cup in Brazil. Before the draw against Italy in Turin,England had...

8 things to look forward to in the next round of the World Cup [Satire]

Xavi to examine the grass length before the Chile gameIt's commonly known fact that if Barcelona/Spain ever lose a game then it's because of...

5 reasons why Manchester United will beat Bayern Munich

Even David Moyes thinks the headline is funnyRead on,at the end of the article,I am sure you will agree with us that,United are going...

5 Reasons why David Moyes has been good for Manchester United

Even Moyes seems shocked at our headlineNote-If you don't get satire please don't read moreManchester United are now universally popularManchester United were easily the most hated...

A Sad Day in Football: AC Milan 2:0 Barcelona

If you don't understand satire,please don't read this article.I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw the final score the next day morning. AC...

Latest Posts

Jürgen Klopp Pressing system

Jürgen Klopp is regarded by many as one of the best managers in the world. He started his managerial career with a German Club...

Man City 3:0 Arsenal Tactical Analysis- The Master vs The Apprentice

When Mikel Arteta was an assistant of Pep Guardiola at Manchester City, they not only dominated England but were one of the best teams...

How will Pjanic fit in at Barcelona? A look at Barcelona’s 4-3-3 formation for next season

As the deal between Barcelona and Juventus regarding the transfers of Arthur Melo and Miralem Pjanic has almost been finalised, let's take a look...

Three best Premier League transfers of all time

The Premier League is famous for its lavish spending on player’s transfers. Top clubs like Liverpool, Manchester City, and Manchester United have been spending...

Don't Miss

Súper Dépor! The rise and fall of Deportivo La Coruña

At the Start With the exception of a 2nd place finish to Helenio Herrera’s Atlético Madrid in 1948/49, Deportivo La Coruña have historically plied their...

Dimples, Kangaroos and Bohemians

One of the main tram routes in Prague is the 22. This goes all the way from Bíla Hora, the site of one of...

The Original Invincibles- Preston North End 1888/89

In the wake of Manchester City’s record-breaking claim to the Premier League, The False 9 will look back at some of the greatest club...

Lifted Over The Turnstiles: Scotland’s Football Grounds In The Black & White Era

This most comprehensive book about old Scottish football grounds ever published, Lifted Over the Turnstiles contains almost 200 photos of 42 football stadiums here...

Dr. Carneiro or: How I should learn not to stop the game and love the boss

Hundreds of journalists this week have condemned Jose Mourinho for his treatment of Eva Carneiro and Jon Fearn after they wrongly ran onto the...

Transfers

How will Pjanic fit in at Barcelona? A look at Barcelona’s 4-3-3 formation for next season

As the deal between Barcelona and Juventus regarding the transfers of Arthur Melo and Miralem Pjanic has almost been finalised, let's take a look...

Three best Premier League transfers of all time

The Premier League is famous for its lavish spending on player’s transfers. Top clubs like Liverpool, Manchester City, and Manchester United have been spending...

Where will Kai Havertz play for Chelsea? A look at Lampard’s exciting 4-2-3-1 formation for next season

There have been several rumours surrounding Kai Havertz's transfer to Chelsea and Havertz's current boss, Peter Bosz has indicated that the winger might not...

Man United expected lineup against Sheffield United: Pogba & Bruno to start together for first time

Manchester United salvaged a draw against Tottenham in their first game post the lockdown. Their performance improved after the substitutions of Paul Pogba and...

How will Arthur fit in Juventus’s midfield: Sarri’s thrilling 4-3-1-2 formation

Sky Sports News has confirmed that Juventus and Barcelona have agreed upon a £72.5m fee for the signing of midfielder Arthur. The Brazilian midfielder...